MacNeil of Barra

"After the Napoleonic wars were over, General MacNeil, the second-­best-looking man on the field of Waterloo, settled at Eoligarry and he employed a groom, a butler and a gardener, as the garden was very much neglected. After the long period of years that it was not looked after it was in very bad condition. So it happened that the butler, the groom and the gardener were staying in a bothy of their own.

"One night they planned together it would be a good idea to go into MacNeil’s cellar and steal a quantity of whisky. Well, first the gardener had to be consulted, as the cellar window was looking on to the garden and they must have the key of the garden before they would get near the whisky at all. And he agreed to give the key and to supply a ladder to climb to the cellar. Well, that was settled and it went all right. The butler went up on the ladder and put a considerable quantity of straw on the bottom of the wooden bucket, in case the transferring of the whisky to the bucket made a noise. The groom was supplying the buckets. He took over three buckets and he wanted to take more, but the butler would not allow him, he said the stock was so low.

"Now they had the party and they were drinking merrily - in fact it reached a bad stage, almost a disaster. There was an old man there: he was the harper that MacNeil had and he was a man - although blind - of great bodily strength. The groom went over to him and offered him a dram, and he was not believing him and he asked him - 'Give me your hand,' he says and the groom gave him his hand and to give you an idea of how strong he was, in grasping the other man by the hand he squeezed blood out of his fingertips. And the groom could not yell and he could not let on he was suffering pain, in case MacNeil would hear the commotion.

"Now they went to bed and slept quietly. Then the groom began to imagine a sort of court - what would happen if it were discovered they had broken into the cellar and raided the whisky. And the gardener got the wind up that he would get the brunt of the fine if it was discovered that he gave the key of the garden so that they could climb up to the cellar. They were for several days planning what to say and what not to say - but fortunately nobody ever knew what actually did happen and nobody ever found out that the whisky was stolen.

"However, then they were dry again and still safe after that - the cloud was over and they were beginning to forget about it - and they made up their minds to go to see the gardener about the use of the key into the garden and the ladder to go and raid the cellar again. But unfortunately he sat down on the stool of repentance and he said, 'Well,' he says, 'I gave you the key already, and rake it from me, boys, I will never do it again.' So they dispersed and I must not omit to tell you that the gardener was my own grandfather."

As told by John MacPherson in his book 'Tales from Barra As Told by the Coddy' (Birlinn Ltd, 2013)

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